can we fake it, can we make believe??

eastsunrisehwy @ 2006-03-13T19:44:00

2006-03-14T00:47:03Z

www.xanga.com/maryyelizabethh

eastsunrisehwy @ 2006-01-25T17:23:00

2006-01-25T22:37:37Z

so it's pretty much been forever and i apologize.
it's partly because i forgot my password for a while.
and it's also partly because i'm lazy.

life has been okay recently.
i've been finding myself not being very happy and i hate that.
i want to change so many things about myself and i try to and i fail.

there are a few certain things and people that bring a smile to my face all the time though. and that is a veryy good thing.

i'm dedicating this post to my sister heidi though. she always knows how to make me feel better and she keeps my life not boring.
so yea. i love her.

annnyway, biology starts up next week and that means i get to see kt and linds more often! plus they came down last weekend with katiex2 and that was wonderful. shakespeare has started which is interesting but fun. and that means i get to see annie on a regular basis now. i've gotten to see kait more too. so that's all good.

and oh! lisa got into civic!! i'm coordinating a fan club to go see her in the play. so uhh..you best join up.

that's it.
my mom is gone yet again so i'm off to help with supper.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2006-01-10T13:28:00

2006-01-10T18:35:13Z

First school: umm whatever the one in minnasota was called..it was a cool school. i just can't remember the name. haha

First Screenname: musicluva203 :)

First Cellphone: the one i have now

First funeral: my grandpa's

First pet: my cat winnie

First piercing/tattoo: just my earts

First big trip: one of our trips back to indiana or the time we went to washington d.c.

First flight: flew to indiana

First celebrity love: nick carter

First job: playing piano for the church choir

First MySpace friend: after tom, i think it was lisa

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last person you hugged: my mom

Last car ride: lisa brought me home from eva's house of pancakes! <3

Last time you cried: 2 days ago

Last movie you watched: the rescuers

Last food you ate: a ham and cheese omlette that tasted wonderful

Last person of the opposite sex that you talked to: jake

Last item bought: my breakfast/lunch

Last shirt worn: just an old white one

Last phone call: jake

Last text message: i believe it was grant. go figure, he has a phone now.

Last thing you touched: my hand

Last time at the mall: when i went with lisa on friday

Last time u were excited about something: excited to know i'm not technically grounded. haha

Last person u saw: heidi

Last drink: coffee

Last thing you typed: ^^

that wasn't fun for some reason. haha.

today is officially stay in my pjs day.

i like those days.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2006-01-09T17:05:00

2006-01-09T22:14:59Z

..today actually turned out really well.

..had the first shakespeare class.
that was interesting to say the least.
but i'm mad at myself for not being excited. because i was reminded once again of how much i love it today.

..afterwards i went to bracken with lisa and ended up spending almost a half hour just reading shakespeare's sonnets. it's amazing how some guy who lived forever ago could write things that totally apply to life and love today. i guess time doesn't apply to good writing.

..then lisa and i talked for an hour. which is always good.

..we made some exciting plans!

..just for the record, i've made some pretty important decisions about my life in the past 3 days. and as of right now, the future is looking pretty good. i want to start seeing the big picture instead of always getting caught up in the little problems.

..jake is wonderful. yeah. that sums it all up.

..oh and i'm really happy right now. and i'm beyond thankful for my friends. and my sisters. i love them.

..i've decided i'm not getting my ipod. i want a car instead. i'm proud of myself for making that decision. cause i really really want an ipod. but! i'm thinking of the big picture.

i totally just wrote a really positive entry. how cool :)

eastsunrisehwy @ 2006-01-03T21:00:00

2006-01-04T02:11:45Z

yesturday was great.
today was great.

does any more need to be said?

FRIDAY I GET TO SEE KT AND LINDSEYYYY. OH MY FREAKING GOSH!

oh and i looked online for ipods tonight with my dad. ahhh looks as if i'll be buying one of those.

and i'm in a fall out boy mood.

ahhhhhhh.
i love life.
yes i do.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-31T17:19:00

2005-12-31T23:04:11Z

so uh..2005 was a pretty good year i'd say. thank you to everyone who made it that way. i grew closer with so many people and gained a lot of new friendships. what could be better than that?

i'm sorry i don't have pictures from everything..i just didn't feel like searching for them. don't take it personal if you aren't up there. haha

i'm so excited for this next year though. bring it onnnn.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-30T14:27:00

2005-12-30T19:45:33Z

i.am.so.happy.

despite annoying people.
and annoying situations.

AND PEOPLE THAT CALL AT 1 FREAKING IN THE MORNING. ahem..sarahboyle...haha

i think i'm finally ready for '06.
it's gonna be one heck of a year.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-29T10:19:00

2005-12-29T15:52:52Z

i always choose to write these entry during the weirdest times in my life.
i'm so happy in a ton of ways.
but i'm really mad in a ton of ways.
i guess i should focus on the happy stuff.

not the fact i'm grounded till sunday. suckssss.
it's not really that big of a deal though.
i do expect phone calls after midnight on new years eve since i probably won't be able to go anywhere.

i am perfectly content though. i got my school schedule worked out. i got some things worked out with certain people. i've got jake. it's almost a new year. my friends are my life. i've got a job. etc etc.
yeah..i'm quite blessed.

and one of my resolutions is to not take things for granted as much. i had this one last year too.

ahh i have so much homework to do for mrs. lenig's class. it's not going to be fun.

so anyway. i stole this from the wonderful kait buck.

[PERSON ONE]: Kaitlyn
a. How long have u known this person? since i moved here..so about 7 or 8 years
b. Do you go to the same school as him/her? if only
c. What is this person's initials? KEG
d. Is this person your best friend? yess

[PERSON TWO]: Lisa
a. Is this person older than 15? yep
b. Have you done anything illegal with this person? haha yes
c. Where did you meet this person? lees..where did i meet you? probably some homeschool gathering a longggg time ago.
d. When was the last time you talked to this person? last night at midnight.

[PERSON THREE]: Jake
a. What is this person's favorite food? hmm i don't know. probably my chocolate chip cookies.
b. How often do you talk to this person on the phone? everyday
c. Does he/she have any siblings? yep
d. What school does this person go to? central
e. Do you think this person is athletic? oh yes. even when he's crippled
f. How much do you love this person? a whole freaking lot.

[PERSON FOUR]: Katie L.
a. If you could love one thing about him/her? i love how she's so so caring.
b. Does this person trust you? hopefully
c. Have you ever broke this person's heart? when i told her we couldn't have new years with partially. that would break anybody's heart.
d. How old was this person when you first met? 12 or 13 i think. it was 7th grade.
e. What month is this person's birthday? julyyy

[PERSON FIVE]: Lindsey
a. Do you know this person's parents? yes and i love them
b. What is this person's favorite color? it better be pink. cause she's my pink pushup pop for life. hahha
c. What type of clothes does this person wear? she's got styleee
d. Where does this person shop? KOHLS! i know this for a fact.
e. Have you been to his/her house? yess

[PERSON SIX]: Annie
a. What is your favorite thing about this person? she gets me. i get her.
b. What is this person's hobbies? music, watching tv, art, listening to snow patrol while doing art, talking to me
c. Does this person have a 4.0 GPA? maybe
d. How about a 3.5? most definitely
e. How long do you want to stay in touch with this person? all my life i hope.

[PERSON SEVEN]: Sarah
a. Have you seen this person's baby pictures? no. sarah. get on this. i want to see.
b. Where does this person live? right next to kelsey koch's house.
c. When was the last time you hung out with this person? LAST FREAKING WEEK. and believe me. i miss her.

[PERSON EIGHT]: kenny!
a. Why is this person your friend? cause he's the nicest person ever.
b. Who is this person's best friend? zack

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-23T14:51:00

2005-12-23T20:20:27Z

i stole this.

-------------------------------------------------------------
In General
-------------------------------------------------------------

Time started: 2:52

Name: maryyy

Single or Taken: taken

Sex: female

Birthday: april 14

Siblings: 2 younger sisters.

Eye color: blue-green

Shoe size: 8

Height: 5'2 1/2 ughhh.

Innie or Outie: innie

What are you wearing right now: my pink sweats and my volleyball camp shirt (definitely haven't gotten ready yet)

Job: yea

Where do you live: muncie

Righty or lefty: righty

Can you make a dollar in change right now: of course. i basically only have change.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Relationships
-------------------------------------------------------------

Who are your closest friends: i have a lot. that's kind of nice.

Do you have a BF or GF?: yep

Did you send this to your crush? umm maybe he'll read this. haha

Best place to go for a date: anywhere with him.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Favorites...
-------------------------------------------------------------

Favorite place to shop: wetseal.

Favorite kind of pants: just plain old jeans.

Color: green

Number(s): 22

Boys Name: Christopher.

Girls Name: Claire.

Animal: umm horse

Drink: coffee. hands down.

Sport(s): football, volleyball

Fast-Food Place: the bellll.

Month: april. and october is nice cause it's fall.

Movie: tomb raider. hahah

Juice: orange

Breakfast: cereal. good cereal.

Cartoon character: mickey.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever
-------------------------------------------------------------

Given anyone a bath: little sisters.

Smoked: no

Bungee: no

Made yourself throw-up: yes

Gone skinny dipping: yes

Eaten a dog: you know they fed me so many crazy things in japan i might have just eaten a dog.

Put your tongue on a frozen pole: no

Broken a bone: yea. and im a hero for it.

Played truth or dare: yes

Been in a physical fight: no

Been in a police car: yea but not because i didn't anything wrong.

Been on a plane: yes

Come close to dying: YES. gah..that canoe trip like 3 years ago.

Been in a sauna: mmhm

Been in a hot tub: : of course.

Swam in the ocean: oh yes, just recently in fact. haha

Fallen asleep in school: mrs. moore is a recipe for sleepiness.

Ran away?: wanted to.

Cried when someone died: yeah

Cried in school: no. i rarely cry in public.

Fell off your chair: haha happens to me all the time.

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? yeah

Saved AIM conversations: yep

Saved e-mails: yep

Fallen for one of your best friends?: yes

Made out with JUST a friend?: no

Used someone: probably.

Been cheated on?: no

---------------------------------------------------------------
What is...
----------------------------------------------------------------

Your good luck charm: fate. it's in my wallet.

Best song you ever heard: how are you supposed to answer this.

Stupidest thing you have ever done: matress surfing. beaz boarding.

What's your room like: a sunny day.

Last thing you said: "anything for you love"

What is beside you: 2 pencils. my stereo remote. my phone. my government textbook.

What kind of shampoo do you use?: suave

Best thing that has happened to you this year: so much.

Worst thing that has happened to you this year: lets not go there.

--------------------------------------------------
have you ever had
-------------------------------------------------------------

Chicken pox: yes

Sore Throat: yes

Stitches: yes. cause i'm retarded and decided to pick up a broken light bulb.

Broken nose: no

Believe in love at first sight: not really.

Like picnics: yes

Like school: no

What schools have you gone to: whatever the school i went to in minnasota was.

Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000. dollars: no way on earth.

If you were stuck on an island, who would you want to be stuck with? my sisters. lisa. jake.

Who was the last person that called you: jake

Who was the last person you slow danced with: haha um..caleb gray?? wow.

What makes you laugh the most?: i'm the easiest person to make laugh.

What makes you smile?: good music. good friends. good anything pretty much.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Who is the last person
-------------------------------------------------------------

You Kissed?: lannie. haha

You yelled at: dad

Who broke your heart: recently? mr. scott.

Who told you they loved you: lisa

Is your loudest friend? i have a lot of loud friends.

Who is the last person you had sex with: i don't remember...
only joking.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Do you/Are You:
-------------------------------------------------------------

Do you like filling these out: on odd days like today.

Do you wear contacts or glases?: both. but considering i broke my last contact i'm wearing glasses till sometime in january. ugh.

Do you like yourself: yeah..i suppose i'm content. but there are many things i want to change.

Do you get along with your family: my sisters..yes. my parents..not a whole lot.

Stolen anything over $50: no

Obsessive?: about some things

Compulsive?: no

Anorexic?: thank God that's over.

Suicidal?: no

-------------------------------------------------------------
Final questions
-------------------------------------------------------------

How many people are you sending this to: technically..i'm not sending it to anyone

What are you listening to right now?: ashlee simpson..hahah

What did you do yesterday: woke up. did school. went christmas shopping with lannie. went to work. came home and stayed up too late.

Hated someone in your family: no

Gotten any awards: yes.

What car do you wish to have: none. i wannnt a black dodge dakota sport edition. really really bad.

Where do you want to get married: where my dad is the pastor at the time.

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?: the fact i like to keep things to myself

Good driver: nope

Have a lava lamp: no but my sister does

How many remote controls are in your house: way too many

Are you double jointed: yes actually!

What do you dream about: whatever is on my mind.

Last time you showered: couple hours ago.

Last time you took a bath: like a week ago.

The last movie you saw at the theatres: harry potter

Scary or happy movie: scary

black or white: white

Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: dr pepper

Vanilla or chocolate: chocolate

Skiing or Boarding: boarding

Fall or Winter: fall. no question about it.

Silver or Gold: silver

Diamond or pearl: diamond

Sunset or Sunrise: sunset. in maine on top of cadallac mountain. or in california at the beach.

Sprite or 7up: sprite

Orange juice or apple juice: orange

Cats or dogs: dogs. but i have cats. whyyy

Coffee or tea: coffee.

Phone or in person: person normally

Are you Oldest, middle, youngest in your family: oldest

Indoor or outdoor: indoor. snuggled up in my down comforter.

what time is it now?: 3:19

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-22T22:08:00

2005-12-23T03:25:44Z

i had an odd day.
1) i got out my matchbox 20 cds. haven't done that for a long time.
2) i have been super happy, then sad, then mad, then frustraited and then just tired.
and as much as i'd like to say things don't bother me...that's so not true. stuff hurts whether i like it or not.
i can twist everything to have a positive angle, but that's not always enough.
sooo i don't know..i'm just kind of riding things out and seeing where they go.
3) i definitely bought the new ashlee simpson cd today. haha i figure i have a right to be lame at times. oh and lisa, i bought it so you and i could listen to boyfriend any time we want.
4) i wore my hair in pigtails. it was cute to be sure but just not something i do all the time.

that's about all the reasons i can think of.

i love my sister heidi. with all my heart. she can be so frustraiting at times, but lately she's been so wonderful.

i got all of my christmas shopping done finally. and i decided to do something productive with my time so i wrapped them all too.

ah. i miss a lot of people right now. one especially.
but no. i'm in my prison cell with clouds on the wallpaper.
it's really quite annoying.

soon i'm redecorating my room though.

and in 114 days i will be the happiest person alive.

so..i'll live.

<3

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-19T13:51:00

2005-12-19T19:05:03Z

my life is a rollercoaster to say the least.
i just have really come to realize the importance of my friends.
there is always someone there for me. and that is amazing.
and they don't leave even when i screw up. which i tend to do a lot.
i really have no complaints right now because with the bad there has been good.

christmas is soon. and i don't really know how i feel about that but i guess we'll find out.
i'm going christmas shopping today because yes i am a procrastinator when it comes to this kind of thing.

i have not been enjoying the snow lately.
at all.

i saw narnia yesturday. thought it was very nice.

i just don't feel like writing in here anymore. i probably will..i just have been prefering to write in my real diary lately.
so who knows.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-14T22:56:00

2005-12-15T04:04:01Z

looook pictures from last night:

ahh i love her. so much.

anyone who's gone out to eat with lisa should appreciate this picture..haha

this ladies and gentlemen is the amazing sarah boyle..being so gangster i can hardly stand it.

yea. riding in the previa makes you cool.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-13T22:14:00

2005-12-14T03:36:57Z

so my life has been crrrazy lately.
very much so.

but my goodness. friends are the BEST to have around.

i've had the best conversations with people lately.

i think all the bad has been balanced out by good.
hahhaha..ying and yang...

wow.

tonight was quite fun. went to the yorktown/central swim meet and afterwards sarah, lees, zack, kenny, and i went to pizza king and pretty much didn't stop laughing.

i'mmmm not in the mood for a long entry.

so you don't get one.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-11T15:33:00

2005-12-11T20:49:21Z

so friday was great. minus the snow. lisa and sarah have my heart.

yesturday sucked. beyond belief.

today..isn't as bad.

i'm just not very happy right now because i'm so depressed about what's happening with some friends. i definitely feel a lot less close to certain people in my life right now and it really really makes me sad.

i think it's one thing when you have a break up or a fight with somebody and it's just over. like right then.
but these gradual declines in friendships kill me. especially when i'm fighting so hard for it not to. i admit that i am not the greatest friend. i do forget to call people back at times. i am very busy and don't always have time to hang out with people. but mannn..i cannot do it all. and it just sucks when you get hardly any response from the other person.

and what sucks even more is that it's not happening with just one person right now.

so maybe it's completely my fault.

but i honestly don't know what to do.

and the longer this goes on..the worse it gets.

my heart is pretty much broke.

not to mention i'm sick.

so i'm just not happy.

ohhh well. youth group tonight. those people always find a way to cheer me up.
<3

EDIT::

i just talked to leah...
she's hurting so much.
it's almost been a year.
i didn't know what to say.
i want to just be there with her but it's so hard being this far away.
i'm gonna cry.
this is getting to be a bit much.

ahh..peter. whyyyy

i don't want christmas eve to come.

lisa thank you for everything. it's so amazing to know you're always there.
and annie, my bffl, is coming over tomorrow.
so at least life will be okay then.

i'm so sorry for the depressing posts. i'm not horribly down, i just have a lot on my mind. i promise i'll be done with this soon.

stick with me :)

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-12-08T14:26:00

2005-12-08T19:42:22Z

my trip was amazing.
i'm very very very glad to be home though.

i've decided california isn't like what i thought it would be, but not in a bad way. I think we all sort of have this dream image of california and yes there are parts of it that are like a dream and make it very beautiful..but there are also things that keep it real. and that is why i love the place.

i definitely saw fantasia barrino and diana krall. i also saw the hotel in laguna where they filmed the first episode. and i saw the dock in newport that the oc has. OH and you know Carmens Ave. from the straylight run song?? yeah..saw that. and oceans ave. i was excited. obviously.

disneyland got old after a while..but i still love that place. and i went on the rollercoaster at california adventure 3 times. twice by myself cause nobody else would go with me. so i think i get bragging rights, wouldn't ya say?

SO here's pictures. i have a ton more. so..maybe someday you'll get to see them.

that's from our hotel room.

front of disneyland.

okay..so heidi had never taken a mirror picture before. i had to show her.

i'll admit that sometimes she can be quite cute.

yes rock climbing was included in my california fun.

mis padres..cuuutee.

gahh..what would it be like to see that everyday on your way to work? a-mazing.

so my cousin who lives out in LA (and who also was a set designer on Walk the Line!) took us around the townnn. and this is in front of the one and only Kodak theater. It's really kind of just stuck in a hole in the wall..but i loved it just the same.

this man scared me.

so then we took a hike up this mountain to see this.

and this. i definitely had tears in my eyes. dream come true? yea.

then the next day we went to newport and lagunnaaa. beautiful doesn't even begin to describe it.

gotta represent my girls, ya know?

annnd i also have to be retarded, ya know?

palm trees with christmas decorations= love.

but at some point it had to come to an end with a 4 hour plane ride.

yeah. i'm pretty happy.
but it's never felt better to be home.

californiaaaa here we comeee

2005-11-30T19:52:11Z

so hi from california!

it's pretty much the most amazing place on earth.

i can't describe it.

it's gonna be so hard to leave.

the smell. the temperature. the super nice cars on the freeway. the huge houses. the coolest mexicans ever. the whole big city feel. IT'S MY FUTURE HOME.

and yea. i've only been here for about 2 1/2 hours and i'm in love.

right now i'm wearing a tank top. are you jealous?

it's also great because my sister and i have really been getting along and we've already had so much fun.

i'm the happiest person alive.

except..i want my friends here.

but that will come later in life. to be sure.

call me. text me. leave me comments.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-27T22:47:00

2005-11-28T03:52:57Z

diss
distinguish
dishonest
discourage
dissent
dismount
dissatisfy
disfigure
dismember
disembodiment
disable
disciple
disillusionment
disloyal
district
dissertation
dishonor
discover
discrepency
discern
disintegrate
disgruntled
disgrace
distract
disapointed
disapear
distaste
disc
discriminate
disenfranchise
dismiss
dish
distrust
distress
discourse
discreet
displacement
disinherited
display
dismantled
disregard
discontinue
disengage
discolor
disbelieve
discombobulate
disheartened
disprove
disproportionate
discredit
disband
disoriented
disembark
dislocate
disease
disgust
disguise
dissipate
dislike
disown
distance
disaster
disenchantment
discomfort
disestablishment
disincarnate
disrepute
disfunctional

for all those who didn't believe me. here's proof. add to it.

oh ps. thanks to sarah, aly, shea & devon, kait & justin, chris, katie, and patrick for helping.

where's that simple day that simply made it nice to be in??

2005-11-27T18:13:42Z

yesturday was pretty crazy.
i ended up having to go to indy but that didn't stop me from seeing my friends later.
overall it was a nice day.
I became the secretary of the beautiful member club. it's quite the honor, believe me.

i've had the most amazing talks with lisa lately. it's been so nice. i think we ended up getting a litttllee bit of study time in. haha

i bought Imogen Heap's cd yesturday. i'm in love.

i'm so happy at this moment in my life. i just want to press pause and stay right here.

TWO DAYS TILL I LEAVE FOR CALIFORNIA. OH MY FREAKING GOSH.

i made a list of 59 words that start with "dis" this weekend. it's the best. i'm still not quite done. next i'm doing a list of words that start with "pre".

i am a member of the vocabulary club if you didn't know. hahah

i'm depressed with the amount of comments lately. it's not cool guys. not cool.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-26T09:06:00

2005-11-26T14:14:07Z

yesturday was probably the longest day of my life. literally. i was up for 15 hours and i took no nap. i just kept on goin. haha

it all started at 4:15am when i got up.
then i was picked up by kait and her mom and sister.
we hit the after thanksgiving sales prettty hard.
it was fun because i spent a lot of money and i got lots of things. haha
then i came home and was about to get in bed again when my mom told me SHE wanted to go shopping and that i should come with her. so off i go again to the mall and we shopped for a long time too.

then i get home and decided to practice organ. that would be good right considering i have to play this sunday?
so i'm over there and my phone rings and it's SARAH.
she pretty much gave me no choice but to go to the cup.
so to the cup i went.

she was knitting. i was on my laptop. her mom brought taco bell. we talked a lot. per-fec-tion.
then we decided to go back to my house and watch the oc while sarah knitted. so off we went.

we watched like 3 episodes or something. sarah's knitting transformed into an almost hotpad (and hopefully it'll be a scarf by monday!) i ate candy to stay awake. it was much fun.

then we called aly, told her to come kidinap us, and so we all went back to the cup. had some good laughs. cause that's how we roll.

then i came home.

ate supper.

went to bed at 7:45.

but could i sleep?

of course not.

now it's 9:12am on saturday.

lisa's coming in 45 min to study for our big lit test.

then i don't know what's going on!

so it'll be exciting.

i loooovee my friends.
and keds.
and words that start with dis.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-24T09:29:00

2005-11-24T14:33:08Z

Happy thanksgiving!!

hope it's a good one for everybody and i'm definitely up for joining weight watchers with someone after we all gain 100 pounds.

thank you to everyone who is a part of my life. that's basically all i can say. i'm so blessed. I think God really out did Himself when He gave me my friends.

so go eat. be thankful.

and try to stay warm.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-23T18:21:00

2005-11-23T23:22:50Z

ohh the past few days have been eventful to say the least.

i'm really not feeling the need to go into detail about them though.

yesturday i went to classes and then annie came over afterwards. it was nice to just chillll with her. we usually just end up on myspace or watching tv but that's okay. haha. that's what BFFLs are for.

then afterwards i went over to kait's house. thhhat was an interesting/weird night. me and kait managed to have fun because believe or not..we are VERY fun people. but others made the night less enjoyable.

kait and i talked for and hour and a half..it was really nice. we stayed up too late though. we were pretty much dead this morning.

my family celebrated el dia de accion de gracias todayy. lots of good food. tomorrow we're going to my grandparents house for more good food. but i really don't want to go...whatever.

i'm in the process of making an angry music mix. it's really frustraiting me though because my computer is not exactly the most cooperative thing in the world.

i'm hoping this weekend will be good.
brad the hot guy from drivers ed is coming into town soo we're supposed to hang out. yesss.
and then i'll probably hang out with kait again because we are pretty much inseperable.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-17T15:42:00

2005-11-17T20:49:30Z

so i've been in quite a lovely mood the past few days. it's been very nice.

i dyed my hair last night! it makes me happy.

i found out that annie jones in my long lost twin. i think i always knew that but we've just recently found evidence to back it up.

i put new pictures up on myspace. yes this deserves to be in my post because i hardly ever update them. so if you're cool enough to be my friend, go comment.

tonight i have to work. then lisa's coming over to study. i think she should just move in with me since she's here 24/7 anyway.

i've been feeling the need to move to anderson lately. if only..

i've really been thinking a lot lately about the future. it's kind of scary and i don't know why i've been stressing about it. i think that i think too much.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-14T08:59:00

2005-11-14T14:07:43Z

my last entry was kind of annoying. i'm doing much much better.

friends are the greatest.

i mean really. they are.

lisa's coming over today too so we can study. we make it fun. only cause i love her so much.

can you believe it's almost the holiday season??
i'm not ready for it.
it's always so stressful in our family cause my parents have to work like mad people during it.
plus something always goes wrong.

but then again. i loveee christmas music. and huge dinners. and snow. and mistletoe. and presents. etc.

so who knows. maybe this year will be an excellent thanksgiving/christmas.

why am i talking about this??

ps. 2 weeks till californiaaa. i think i'm beyond excited.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-12T17:01:00

2005-11-12T22:03:27Z

so wow. last night i went and hung out with kait and we were having a wonderful time right up until the point where we collided with another car.
it was pretty scary. but nobody was hurt and the car wasn't that banged up. haha it's now official that we will experience everything in our lives together. i love her so much. i'm quite thankful it wasn't that bad.

my dad came and picked us both up and after she left my house i watched the whole first dvd of laguna. ohh that show is the best.

i had really horrible dreams last night. i had like 5 and every one was about somebody getting in a car crash and me sitting in the hospital waiting to find out if they were going to be okay. what's scary about having dreams like that is i'm afraid they'll come true. things i think about or feel but just push aside ALWAYS happen. it's so weird..and then i'll look back and be like MAN why didn't i do something?? i knew it was going to happen!
it's always the things i think are insignificant.
i guess just listen to me if i tell you i don't think something's a good idea because i'm usually right.

haha maybe i'm psychic and i don't even know it.

ahh..i am SO tired of feeling like this. my heart cannot take much more. there's so many things i'm thinking and feeling that all contribute to it. and like, i'm not a depressed bum..but it is getting kind of old just putting off matters and not doing anything about them.

sometimes i resolve to do something. but then i'll sit for another 5 minutes and talk myself out of it. i just can't decide if all this is for the best or if i'm letting the best get away from me.

not to mention the things i can't do anything about. those are almost the worst. i'm the kind of person that does not like to just sit back and watch things self destruct. i have to help. but i can't.

whhhatever. i still have the greatest friends. i was looking through old pictures the other day and it's just like you can FEEL THE LOVE. haha

my mom comes home tomorrow. we shall see what happens..

so wear me like a locket around your throat, i'll weigh you down, i'll watch you choke..
you look so good in blue.

eastsunrisehwy @ 2005-11-11T12:56:00

2005-11-11T18:00:00Z

yes, for all of you that were wondering, i AM alive. i've now survived 2 nights here in this house.
it's pretty much the scariest thing on earth to sleep here..but i will okay.

hahah this is crrazy! i knew we shouldn't have moved.

anyone up for coming to live with me?

or i guess if you're too scared, you could come steal me and let me come live with you.